Four years is a long time

Or is it? In the blink of an eye I've found myself at 28 years old, the only trace of this blog a nagging little reminder when I log onto my work Google Analytics and switch over email addresses. A mere four people a month seem to find it, and I often wonder how and what they think after scrolling through the posts of a "fashion" obsessed, cat obsessed, and basically self-obsessed 24 year old.




Looking back, it's easy to see how nuanced we tend to think we are at such a young age. No one else knows the struggle of being single, liking cats, wanting to get a tattoo, so let me blog about it.

Yet flash forward 4 years and it seems there are too many women who know the struggle. I.e. I am nothing special. I think of the failed past relationships and flings since stopping my little blog, and they're stories as old as time and nothing that isn't already well document on Thought Catalog or Elephant Mind.

In fact, it's nearly every day my girlfriends and I are sending each other memes and articles about dating in the modern age. You know the ones I'm talking about. The articles that have introduced us to a new language and seemingly new phenomenons with the onslaught of dating apps and online sites. New predicaments plague men and women alike and have only created a generation of single twenty- and thirty-somethings who are confused, angry, bitter, and bonding with their other single friends over these articles and satirical Instagram posts.

Ghosting, benching, cushioning, "what is monogamy," feminism, narcissism, mental and emotional abuse, passive aggressiveness, always thinking the grass is greener -- it's as if dating, the supposed simple act of getting to know someone new, has become so plagued and spun into an activity that I, personally, would rather avoid at all costs.

So what's the solution? Refusing to date and staying single in the name of contentment and "self-care" is a phase I've been through and am over with. I am ready to start sharing my life seriously with someone. Tinder, Bumble, eHarmony, Match, Coffee meets Bagel, Hinge and more are all tools I have had tiny amounts of  success with. Meeting people out and in bars? Living your day to day life "not looking" for a relationship while waiting for Mr. Right to fall from the sky? Been there, attempted that, yet with my type A personality I'm left feeling like too much effort results in nothing while not enough effort leaves me looking aloof and cold.

I'm telling you a girl can't win.

So here I am back to my little blog, forcing myself into an outlet of writing that I've long neglected but can never deny the therapeutic effects it has on me. I'll be back, sooner than four years from now. With what, I'm not sure, but if there's one thing that's guaranteed, it'll always be entertaining.